Decades later, the ties that bind

by Jeff Quibell 5. November 2009 21:47

columnist_Jeff_QuibellIn the years between World War II and Roe vs. Wade, 1.5 million women made the difficult decision to give up their babies for adoption.

In early 1958, one of those women rode the train from Detroit to Kansas City, and in May gave birth to a baby boy. She had intended to give the boy the middle name of Donald in honor of her father, but thinking that she might someday want to use the name for a future child she would keep, she chose instead the name of Jeffrey Allen Faragher.

Forty-four years later, she received a call from a Jackson County Family Court searcher. Her son was looking for her. The searcher inquired whether she would be willing to have contact with her child.

“Is my son looking for me?” she asked. “Tell him that I closed that door 44 years ago. If he wants me to open it again, I will never close it.”
Imagine her surprise when a few weeks later she learned her son’s name was Jeffrey Donald Quibell.

I came to my parents with my adoption papers indicating only “Baby Boy.” That I ended up with the given name that my birth mother originally intended for me is just one of the many miracles of my adoption story, as I have discovered over the past seven years.

Most of the birth and adoptive parents from this era were told that adoption records were forever sealed and that we could never locate each other. In Missouri, nothing could be further from the truth.

Adoptees from this time may view their adoption file, but without the identifying information. They may also pay a search fee to have their birth parents contacted. The request should be placed with the family court in the county where the adoption was handled.

My mother made friends with the other women who were also staying at the Fairmont maternity home in Kansas City. Recently, one of those women contacted her, seeking information on how to search for her daughter who was born in the Fairmont on Feb. 10, 1958.

I know it is a long shot, but if you are a woman born on this date and you are adopted, your birth mother may be looking for you. Call the Jackson County Family Court at 816-435-4788. They will help you follow the proper procedures and guide you through the process. Even without making contact, birth parents have the right to update medical information and include letters to their child in their adoption file.

Finding my birth parents has been a wonderful experience for me. I continue to work with the Missouri General Assembly to simplify the process for both adoptees and birth parents.

Tags:

General | Newsletter

Comments

11/19/2009 6:09:03 PM #

Cindy Caputo

Jeff, your story is touching and so well told!  I am so fortunate to have an adoptee in my immediate family, too!  Truly, one of the most life affecting events of my professional career as an obstetrician/gynecologist (which includes many!) is participating in an adoption.  I have always encouraged patients to consider that option when they are confronted with difficult decisions.  When an adoption has taken place and I know the birth mother is doing well, and when I receive Christmas cards with the adoptive family's photos, it is such a joy! Thanks so much for your story.

Cindy Caputo United States

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About Jeff Quibell

Jeff QuibellJeff Quibell is a Blue Springs resident since 1984, former City Councilman, and local business owner.  He is dedicated to improving our city and helping keep our residents informed.  You can learn more about Jeff at his personal website http://www.jeffreyquibell.com/.

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